The Cuckoo Clock - New Symbol of Zionism
by Joe the Philosopher
In what philosophers and psychiatrists described as “a moment of clarity,” Zionist crackpots throughout the world gathered in Jerusalem to discuss the harm they were doing to the Jewish religion by using the Star of David as their symbol.
“We’re no more religious than Daffy Duck,” Ehud Barak admitted to reporters. “Real Jews were offended by us using the David thing.”
Knowing that offended Jews were nothing to mess with, the Zionists leaders adopted a new symbol which better reflected who they were:
The Cuckoo Clock.
Mossad's new HQ in Bavaria:
“We thought about adopting “Tweety” alone, but the clock added something special,” explained Bibi Netanyahu, who preferred a more “demonic” symbol. “The waltzing Germans made up for my objections,” Bibi said.
Because Zionism was confused with the Jewish religion, many people had assumed that the Jews were psychotic, just like the Zionists.
“We had no idea we were giving the real Jews a bad reputation,” the head of Mossad said. “Since we were using their symbols, people naturally assumed they were as crazy as we were.”
American Zionists were upset with the change. “The cuckoo clock represents something different in Israel than it does in the United States,” Abe Foxman complained. “In Israel, the cuckoo clock represents punctuality, fine craftsmanship, and bratswurth.
In America, that clock is associated with the criminally insane...cuckoos, just like it says.”
The Israeli Zionists placated the Americans by offering them insider tips on the stock market. “The Zionists can’t fight among themselves or there are going to be a lot of dead bodies,” Joe Lieberman explained. Personally, Lieberman saw nothing wrong with the cuckoo clock representing his point-of-view. “I take the Israeli position...that it simply means we’re on time. Our craftsmanship is a given, considering our superior skills in all matters.”
However, several Zionists were so mad they resigned their jobs as bomb-makers. “Using the Star made us look like God’s Chosen Saints,” said one. ”Now what’s our excuse?” However, other Zionists quickly explained that they don’t need religion as an excuse to take over the world.
“The smart guys should run things, that’s all,” Rupert Murdoch told Fox News.
Most Jews around the world were relieved.”I finally got that Zionist monkey off my back, “ said one. “Now I can say they’re psychotic without being called ‘anti-Semitic.’ The cuckoo clock says it all.”
German clockmakers were thrilled upon hearing the news. “Every Zionist is sure to want one,” a cuckoo clock representative said. “Maybe we can get some of our money back.”
Several versions of the Zionist cuckoo clock are available:
(1)A happy bird with the regular dancing Prussians.
(2)A sad bird with running Palestinians.
(3)A euphoric bird with dancing Israeli soldiers
(4)A Mossad cuckoo clock which hides everything including the time.
"It’s going to take a while for some of the Zionists, especially the Americans, to accept the change,” said Hillary Clinton, who was there to admire every Jew present.
“Although the new symbol is beautiful and artistic, some Americans will be offended. For some reason, we associate cuckoo clocks with the mentally ill.”